What a missed flight taught me about nervous system regulation!

I recently went to Guatemala with my husband, and the trip reminded me of something I believe more than ever:

The practices we come back to every day really do shape how we move through life — especially when things go sideways.

When life doesn’t go according to plan

Our trip started with a snowstorm on the way to the Toronto airport. We usually park there, but this time we took an Uber, and the roads kept getting worse the farther we drove.

Sitting in the back seat, I could feel my body getting tense. I always feel extra anxious in a car when the roads are snowy and icy, so this is already a practice I have to come back to. I realized there was absolutely nothing I could control.

So I breathed and kept telling myself, everything is going to be ok.

That ended up being the theme of the day.

Our first flight was delayed, which meant we were almost certainly going to miss our connection in Washington. Then came more delays: de-icing, waiting on the runway, the pilot stopping to check the wings before takeoff. By the time we were in the air, it was pretty clear our Guatemala flight had already boarded.

My husband was tracking everything as it happened, and sure enough, we got the notification: our connecting flight had departed and we were still in the air.

At that point, I could’ve gone into full panic mode. I even started searching for new flights from Washington to Guatemala, but nothing was available that same day. This was a group retreat with arranged travel on the other end, so missing that flight would’ve changed a lot more than just our arrival time. It wasn’t just about the flight. It was the uncertainty, the logistics, the possible extra cost, and how quickly my body started to feel the stress of it all.

What nervous system activation can feel like

Even when we’re safe, our systems can react strongly to uncertainty.

Not being in control can feel scary. Not knowing how something will work out can stir up fear fast.

That’s exactly what was happening for me.

I wasn’t magically calm, and I definitely wasn’t enjoying what was happening. But I’ve practiced enough to know that spiraling wouldn’t help me. In fact, it would’ve made everything so much worse.

So I kept coming back to my breath.

I kept reminding myself that I didn’t need to add more panic to an already stressful moment.

When we finally landed in Washington, we had to wait for a gate. Then the flight attendant announced there had been a power outage and flights were grounded.

And then something completely unexpected happened: our “departed” connecting flight returned to the gate.

Our connecting flight hadn’t been able to take off because of the outage, so it returned to the gate and everyone had to get off the plane. We were able to get on that flight after all, make it to Guatemala, and still catch our scheduled shuttle and boat ride to the retreat destination.

Why nervous system regulation matters

The whole experience reminded me that nervous system regulation isn’t about controlling life or making everything go smoothly.

It’s about staying with yourself when things don’t.

It’s about being able to breathe when your heart starts racing.
It’s about not adding more panic to an already stressful situation.
It’s about having something to return to when your mind wants to run away with the story.

Some people are naturally calmer than others. My husband, for example, was cool as a cucumber. I’m not wired that way. I have to consciously come back to myself and regulate through my breath and the way I talk to myself in those moments when I’m not in control.

And the good news is: that’s something we can practice.

This is why I care so much about this work. It doesn’t make life perfect, but it absolutely changes how we meet it.

WHAT I DO

Hi, if you’re new here, I’m Bonnie. I help women step out of the loop of “not good enough → try harder → still not enough,” so they can find calm, clarity, and confidence—without forcing change—and show up exactly as they are.

My work is compassion-based and nervous-system-led, using Yoga Nidra (deep, healing guided rest), somatic breathwork, and intuitive insight.
First we rest. Then we rise.

FEELING HARD ON YOURSELF?

Grab my free 6-Minute Compassion Break—a short guided pause for when you’re being hard on yourself, replaying everything, or trying to hold it all together. It’s like a quick emotional hug and a full-body exhale you didn’t even know you needed.

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The information presented here is for entertainment and informational purposes only. The information in this post is subject to interpretation and is an expression of opinion. It is not intended for, and does not replace professional, medical, legal, business, and/or health related opinions and advice. It is not a substitute for counselling or any other type of therapy, or medical advice from qualified professionals.